The day starts with a typical anxiety dream, I am at a train station, my train is leaving VERY SOON and I have all these things to do, time is tight, it is not feeling good. A normal sort of dream, one I had regularly a couple of decades ago, but not one that has visited me for a while. The daft thing is that this is all about an optional activity (study) that I invited into my life, that within this block has turned into a voracious consumer of my spare and non-spare time.
Sometimes there is a freedom in consciously deciding to miss the train and this is the leap I have made today. There is some interesting material to be had in this block, but it is being crowded out by minutia of instructions, pressure from unrealistic timescales and the understandable complications of negotiating differing schedules at a distance. Stress and pressures aren’t good companions to creative thinking, nor learning.
So, having come down from my angry height (“what right H817 do you have to put me under this pressure?”), I have resolved to grab hold of my own learning goals and navigate this block at a sustainable pace. Time to embrace the adult, self-directed learner within. There’s another train behind, it may not arrive on time, but the journey will be significantly more tolerable, maybe pleasurable?